best stories of the presence of mind : humour

This man was known for his literary genius with a shrewd presence of mind.

Truman Capote was drinking one evening with friends in a crowded Key West bar. Nearby sat a couple, both inebriated. The woman recognized Capote, walked over to his table, and gushingly asked him to autograph a paper napkin. 

The woman's husband, angry at his wife's display of interest in another man, staggered over to Capote's table and assumed an intimidating position directly in front of the diminutive writer. 

He then proceeded to unzip his trousers and, in Capote's own words, 'hauled out his equipment.' 

As he did this, he bellowed in a drunken slur, 'Since you're autographing things, why don't you autograph this?' 

It was a tense moment, and a hush fell over the room.

 The silence was a blessing, for it allowed all those within earshot to hear Capote's soft, high-pitched voice deliver the perfect emasculating reply:

'I don't know if I can autograph it,
but perhaps I can initial it.'